Undistracted Creativity

It should be easy...

Early this morning, I sat down and re-scanned a few rolls of film from the past. Three in particular, which are quite special to me.

It’s not because the images themselves are standouts. It’s the memories linked to them that I hold close.

The work is from a period of time that I like to think of as a bit of a reawakening—as an artist, and also as a person navigating this world, trying to figure out where my focus should lie moving forward.

In particular, I was feeling frustrated and lost with my photography. I had been entertaining thoughts of quitting for over a year at that point. But over the course of a few weeks, everything changed, and I found myself on a completely new path—one that I could never have expected, and that has played a significant part in what I do today.

It always interests me how quickly we can shift from one extreme to another.

We’re all different, and I think many things influence these shifts, but for me, it came from change.

Change that specifically brought me back to a world of undistracted creativity—a place where I think true fulfilment is often found.

An Early Temporary Retirement

This all happened for me during a ‘temporary retirement’ back in 2017. My wife and I took off on a year-long road trip, driving across North America with a truck and trailer. This is something we’d planned for a long time.

As a result, I found myself in a unique position where I had no obligations or commitments—something very different for me. I’m very much an always-on type of person and feel the need to constantly be productive, which often traps me within my current processes and can limit growth.

It was this year off that forced me out of my routine and encouraged me to try things simply out of curiosity. Nothing I did had to be anything (this is something I try to remind myself of nowadays, as it’s applicable in everyday life, not just in my previous situation).

This eventually led to me buying an old 6x6 TLR, a few rolls of film, and setting out feeling like a complete beginner again. And with that, came a newfound curiosity and a feeling of freedom.

In my previous photography practice, I had established a self-image, a way of working, and my own voice, and there was always a goal attached to every outing.

Going out to shoot had become very serious, never just for fun anymore. And it’s not that I didn’t enjoy it, there just always had to be something achieved or accomplished for it to feel complete.

On top of that, there were other distractions, often that I wasn’t consciously in control of.

Things like worrying if people will like my work. Doubting my own skill and direction. Feeling a lack of purpose. Comparing myself with others… the list goes on.

In complete contrast, the first few weeks on the road with this new-to-me TLR brought back feelings that I hadn’t experienced in a long time.

Complete freedom of the mind.

Zero expectations for the images I was making.

Acceptance of mistakes.

No thoughts about the why or the what…

Just pure curiosity and energy. Simply doing photography because it was a fun thing to do.

Sounds crazy, right?

Whenever I revisit these images, I’m flooded with memories from that time, recalling how unique it was and how much I enjoyed it. And funny enough, the images I made play a very small part in that.

There’s a lesson within that experience that I try to remind myself of often.

It can be easy to chase certain goals and outcomes—and of course, there’s nothing wrong with that. There’s no doubt that fulfilment can come from challenging ourselves and achieving new things.

However, it’s easy to muddy the waters, complicating the craft and the experience, which not only can harm the work but also harm your relationship with the practice itself.

When we strip away most of the distractions, photography is pretty damn incredible.

Should be easy, right?

Unfortunately, nowadays, there are more opportunities to be distracted than ever.

It’s easy to compare.

It’s easy to make assumptions.

It’s easy to be overwhelmed.

As a result, it’s easy to make decisions with and about our work that are influenced by outside sources and may not entirely align with our vision.

But I believe, at least for me, that when we stay true to our own interests and focus on the things that genuinely excite us, that’s where the magic is.

Those few weeks back in 2017, roaming through Oregon, fumbling with a TLR and trying to figure out how to work with film again, were pure.

I spent my time driving backroads with no destination in mind, waiting to see what was around the next corner, pointing my camera at whatever grabbed my attention.

Afterwards, I’d send my film away to be developed and scanned, eagerly waiting to see the results, but already having received the payoff from the experience itself.

It’s a reminder to me today, as I sit with these images, to as much as possible try to live in a world of undistracted creativity.

Strip away as much of the noise as I can (most of which is generated by my own thoughts and interpretations) and be present with this incredible process called photography.

The magic of it is always waiting there for us, I think we just often look too hard and end up passing it by…

Anyway, these are just some thoughts that were on my mind and that I wanted to share. Maybe you’ll find something you connect with here.

Also, I realise it’s been a while since I’ve written on this platform. I’ve missed it. It’s been a bit of a complicated year finding direction again, but I look forward to doing more of these in the future.

Thanks for reading!